In an insanely weird video that looks like it was shot for public access television in 1987, Duff Goldman shows that he cares less about your summer beach body and much more with saving you a trip to the State Fair this fall. The cake ace, last seen enjoying Food Network stardom, is promoting Blue Bunny ice cream here and quickly making us wistful for the luxury trappings of cable television (you know, like lighting that doesn't make The Duff Man look like he's hiding under a bridge, waiting to scare children). After making a Nicholas Fehn-style stab at stand-up while dissing deep-fried fruit punch ("You can't deep-fry fruit punch," the host chuckles), Goldman goes on to show all of us "folks at home" how to deep-fry ice cream by battering a scoop in panko and gently easing it down into hot oil.
It looks easy enough to try this one at home without permanently scorching all the sensation from your fingertips. Better than that, anyone you make this for will consider you some kind of genius on par with Chicken Charlie. So check out this quick cooking demo, complete with hairy hands handling your scoop, an audible fart noise as Goldman inserts a lollipop stick into the frozen dessert, and just a sprinkle of overt product placement, in Duff's video guide to deep-frying your own ice cream.