As you know by now, Kiss is far from Fugazi or Fucked Up. As long as there's a potential cash infusion after the dotted line, the band will basically sign any kind of licensing agreement, maybe save an endorsement for one of those torture-sanctioning hostels in Bratislava. Maybe. So it comes as little surprise to get a press release announcing that Kiss perverto-numero-uno, Gene Simmons, is "launching a new restaurant venture" this April in El Segundo called "Rock & Brews" with partner Michael Zislis. But wait, isn't Rock & Brews already an existing El Segundo restaurant with Zislis as owner? You betcha. So what's going on?
A rep confirms that this is merely the relaunch of Rock & Brews with a made-over concept promising more rock and less talk (did someone get envious of Abigaile or something?). The relaunch will see the establishment's structure "built from the ground-up" and carries with it aspirations for a chain of franchised establishments.
Taking both a cue and the font from The Rolling Stone restaurant (not that we've ever been), the relaunched Rock & Brews promises a deeper dedication to "music fans of all ages" (meaning the once fratty scene wants to be a family restaurant now) with huge screen T.V.s continuously showing concert films. The restaurant will also have a "Great Wall of Rock," featuring posters, videos, and artwork, making us recall the environs in a Floyd's Barbershop.
According to the release, "the concept captures the excitement of live concerts in an authentically themed backstage environment," which hopefully means Simmons will keep his tongue out of your nachos. The rock theme is to be executed ad nauseam, with menu appetizers falling under the name "Opening Acts" and salads under "VIP."
Meanwhile, hundreds of craft beers in bottles and by way of tap are promised in a room with picnic tables and retractable screens for showing films, clips, and concert footage (please show Never Say Never again!). Yes, it sounds loud and a little distracting from all of the "Front Row" pizzas.
Rock & Brews is set to reopen on April 3, with a special luncheon attended by Simmons and a group of military vets, with proceeds going to The Wounded Warrior Project. After that, the concept already plans to follow in the path of Hard Rock Cafe, with locations coming to Los Cabos, Maui, Tokyo, Denver, and LAX. In other words, get those matching t-shirts for you and your spouse today!
Rock & Brews, 143 Main St. El Segundo.