What do you get when you combine record unemployment and a brutal entertainment industry with your average starving actor's need for fame and attention? Something akin to the scene this morning at Don't Tell Mama, the 30-year-old New York cabaret bar that plans to plant its tap shoes in L.A.'s former O-Bar space this month. According to the venue's PR, hundreds lined up for the open casting call today for front-of-the-house positions, which were conducted with all the ceremony of an episode of So You Think You Can Dance? Yes, there were actually celebrity judges on hand for these auditions, including Hairspray's Tony Award-winning Marissa Jaret Winokur and casting director Bruce Newburg. Mama's hiring notice called for hopeful bartenders, waiters, and managers to bring their headshots, resumes, and a prepared song along with them for the try-out. Nonetheless, the whole thing still manages to seem scads less desperate than the similar ad Pink Taco runs when searching for its "talent."